The Drug Dealer Code of Conduct
A dissatisfied North Carolina man filed a fairly unorthodox complaint last week when he called the police to report a dishonest drug dealer. According to reports, the man had given his drug dealer $80 with an understanding that he would return with “the marijuana and cocaine he bought.” However, when the dealer (shockingly enough) did not return, the man felt he had been unlawfully wronged and decided to inform the police about his misfortune. “I’m waiting on this guy to do the right thing,” the man said, referring to the well-known strict moral code to which all drug dealers abide. Reports failed to mention whether or not the police informed the man that buying drugs is, in fact, illegal.
Criminal-Catching Alligator
Thanks, in large part, to an alligator, authorities apprehended a Florida man last week. In a story that is seemingly perfectly Floridian, officers noticed the man “failing to maintain a single lane” while driving and pulled him over to the side of the road. However, the man—who was driving with a suspended license—decided that he did not wish to go quietly; soon after pulling his vehicle over, he “bolted out the passenger door” and attempted to make an escape on foot. The man’s getaway came to a halt pretty quickly when he ran into an alligator, though, and authorities tracked him down at a hospital where he was seeking treatment for multiple minor puncture wounds. He was arrested on the spot and the alligator was reportedly happy to do whatever he could to help out the police force.
Fueled By a Fart
Floridians really seem to be taking their bizarre crimes to a whole new level these days. In a particularly interesting incident, a Florida woman was arrested this week after wounding her significant other of six years with “an eight-inch kitchen knife.” Her reason? Her boyfriend “walked by and farted in her face.” While that is never enjoyable, choosing to throw an eight-inch kitchen knife in response may have been a bit of an overreaction. The woman has been charged with aggravated battery with a deadly weapon, though one can only hope that she has since resolved her lover’s quarrel with her hubby.
Drive Thru Mishap
In another story featuring a slight overreaction, a man and his son were arrested recently after brandishing a firearm at a Memphis chicken restaurant. According to reports, everything was going smoothly for the two men as they placed their order in the drive-through line and picked it up at the window, just like normal customers. After driving off however they soon realized that they did not have all of the chicken that they ordered. Apparently, the two men took this as the ultimate slight, and they soon returned to the restaurant and threatened the cashier with a firearm that one of the men had brought along in his vehicle. Both of the men were arrested shortly afterwards, and they are now assumedly complaining about the quality of their food service in jail.
If you’ve got a funny crime story, submit it below. Or, if your particular crime story isn’t all that funny, give us a call. At Freedom Bail Bonds, we treat each client with a respectful, judgment-free attitude to ensure a stress-free bail bond experience, and we’ll have you back out and laughing in no time.
