Driving Under the Influence Isn’t Funny… Unless You’re Justin Bieber.

Unless you’ve been living under a rock for the last few weeks, you’ve undoubtedly heard about the recent scandal(s) surrounding former-innocent-pop-star-turned-bizarre-reckless-celebrity Justin Bieber. In just under a week, Bieber has managed to get arrested twice—for entirely separate incidents—and has even inspired a petition pleading for his deportation. No easy feat.

In case you missed it, though, Bieber first started making recent news waves after he was pulled over for “drag racing” in his Miami Beach neighborhood last week. According to reports, Bieber “was under the influence of alcohol, pot, and Xanax” while speeding his Lambo through a residential area, and, after getting stopped, Bieber—predictably enough—went on to fail just about every field sobriety test police threw at him:

“At the police station, Bieber failed a series of sobriety tests, including ‘horizontal gaze,’ ‘Romberg balance,’ ‘walk and turn,’ ‘finger to nose’ and ‘one-leg stand’ tests, the police report said”. In addition to setting a ridiculously horrible example for his mostly-teenaged fanbase, Bieber has also seemingly acquired a talent for leaving outrage and disgust in his wake. After Bieber was arrested for his numerous crimes on the road (and against humanity), former NFL wideout Keyshawn Johnson—a neighbor of Bieber’s—offered up his thoughts on the subject:

“‘All I want to do is protect my kids. I got a 1-year-old and 3-year-old,’ Johnson, 40, told TMZ. ‘He’s speeding through a residential neighborhood. That’s why all the neighbors is mad. … You got a 19-year old kid feeling entitled; speeding up and down the highway!’”.

Johnson’s anger—which is both indisputably justified and hilarious—definitely went up another notch when news broke about Bieber’s latest arrest. According to reports, “Justin Bieber was charged with assault for allegedly hitting a Toronto limousine driver several times in the back of the head last month, just hours after his attorney entered a separate not guilty plea in Florida to drunken driving and other charges”.

That first arrest really gave Mr. Bieber a wake-up call, apparently. At Freedom Bail Bonds, we understand that crime usually isn’t funny. Sometimes it is, though—especially when it involves Justin Bieber. However, when you trust us to take care of you in a tough time, you can rest assured that we will handle your case with the utmost respect and professionalism.

Unless you’re Justin Bieber.